True Charity Applied: How a Deeper Understanding Could Have Changed My Story 

BETHANY HERRON
Instructional Designer
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I wasn’t sure when I would be ready to write this article, if ever. You see, in October of 2021, I sat beside my mother and watched as machines kept her broken body alive. In tears, I sat for days, repenting of all the years I pushed her away in the name of leaving and cleaving, begging her to wake up so she could move closer to us like she always wanted. After a month on life support, she went to be with the Lord at 67, never having met her 4-month-old grandson, Hank, in person. 

Though God is the one who numbers our days, I can’t help but wonder how an understanding of True Charity principles could have changed my story. And I show up to work every day because I believe that by the grace of God, it can change the stories of those you serve. 

Let’s rewind ten years to high school. Years of family trauma had hardened my heart and dampened my relationships with my parents. As a teenager, I lived with my mom while my dad fought hard against his addiction to drugs and alcohol. Meanwhile, I watched my mom fight her own battles against government dependency and poor financial choices. I had a deep love for my family mixed with a desire to escape and live differently. 

I married my amazing, godly husband the week after graduating college – a sigh of relief entered my heart as I thought, “You’re doing it. You’re choosing a different path.” 

Quickly, I realized that my mother would try her hardest to follow me on that path. So, I kept her at arm’s distance. She tried on and off for eight years to move closer to my family, and for eight years, I said, “Not yet.” 

I convinced myself we weren’t financially ready to handle her lack of responsibility, and she didn’t need us yet, all while ignoring the whisper of Scripture, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

I didn’t realize that she wanted a different path too, and after years of me dampening the flame of hope, she had all but given up on living a different life. I didn’t realize that my mother was living in poverty – physically and relationally – and she no longer trusted me enough to admit she was struggling. 

During my first few months on the True Charity team, I sat quietly in shame as the Lord deepened my understanding of our call to care for the least of these – especially those within my own family. 

I fully believe our story could’ve been different. Here are three things that I believe can change the narrative of not only those you serve but of their entire families: 

1.  Encourage natural affiliations whenever possible. 

Broken relationships are painful, and it’s easy to run instead of restore. 

Broken relationships are prevalent throughout all of creation. You have an amazing opportunity to encourage the restoration of family relationships – if and when it is possible for those relationships to be healthy. Not only are individuals hurting, but their family likely is as well. Consequently, many family members do not recognize their biblical responsibility to care for those within their families (1 Timothy 5:8).

Get used to asking, “Where is your family?” and be prepared to dive into the messiness 

the comes with family relationships. 

2.  Restore hope through achievable goals. 

Many individuals can’t think past their current situation. They are defeated and don’t know that a flourishing life is possible. In short, hope is lost. Their poverty reaches far beyond a material need. 

Creating achievable goals can restore hope in the lives of those we serve. As 

created beings, made in the Image of God, we were made for a purpose. Work and 

productivity were given as a blessing before the fall of man. Therefore, work tends 

to awaken worth in an individual. 

Create goals. Empower them to reach them. Encourage dependency on Christ. Surround them with family support. Restore hope. 

3.  Help restored families establish boundaries.

Trust has been broken in many of these families. Families are afraid to be taken advantage of. They may also fear creating unhealthy dependency instead of empowering support. 

Working with restored families to create solid boundaries can help ensure healthy connections. Boundaries exist for the good of both parties involved, as family demonstrates trust in an individual, and that individual is held to high expectations. Boundaries work to restore healthy bonds for both parties. 

I encourage you to continue practicing True Charity principles. Together, we can work to change the stories of those we serve through the restoration of relationships.