Forgotten Faces: A Call for the Church to Engage the Elderly

BETHANY HERRON
Vice President of Education
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A portrait of what should be 

Tears streamed down their faces as they drove away from a home filled with memories of raising their children.  

My in-laws were stepping away from their treasured home to care for my mother-in-law’s aging, widowed mother in a home of her own. It wasn’t an easy decision. However, it was one they willingly made to care for a cherished loved one. 

Their example is to be honored, and it’s one my husband and I plan to emulate one day. 

A snapshot of what is 

The numbers speak for themselves:  34% of aging adults in the US report feelings of isolation. Research shows loneliness is directly linked to a decline in mental and physical health; and that the ultimate expression of that loneliness — the death of a spouse — significantly increases the likelihood the surviving spouse will die within 90 days.  Consequently, a growing number of senior adults are forgotten, live in material and spiritual poverty, and die alone. Moreso, some of the afflicted are our brothers and sisters in Christ. 

What’s gone wrong? 

There are reasons loneliness among the elderly is on the rise. Our individualistic, self-absorbed culture is certainly one. If someone doesn’t contribute to our plan or if they take something from us, my generation has been taught to ghost them. Broken family relationships are another important factor.  

Even more significant is the lack of realization our worth comes from each of us bearing the Imago Dei (“image of God”).  Contrary to the world’s definition of worth (i.e., “What can you produce?”), God values us because we bear His image, meaning we have the capacity for relationships, rational thought, and to exercise dominion over creation (Gen. 1:26). That means everyone — even those the world discounts as unworthy, second-class, or irrelevant (children, the sick, the disabled, and the aging) are equally valuable to Him — and should be to us.   

Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate 

The world argues that as elderly’s capacity fades, they can be pushed aside. Though this isn’t always implicitly stated, it’s seen in the actions of our society. 

Yet as the ability to “do” lessens, God calls the Body of Christ to draw near — which means when capacity wanes, we should care for and empower the “least of these.” (Matt. 25:34-40) 

What a beautiful thing to enable the aged to exhibit God’s power through weakness so they discover the joy of His strength lived through them (2 Cor. 12: 9-10); and to know “this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” (2 Cor. 4:17) 

So how do our ministries intentionally engage this lost generation? Here are … 

Five simple ways to transform forgotten faces into known members of your community: 

1. Identify a senior adult ministry leader from your nonprofit or church

For a mission to be pursued, someone must take charge. So before you create a plan to care for senior adults, have an individual in place who will oversee that ministry. Most likely, there’s a person in your circle with experience and a heart for senior adults; perhaps a new retiree who has cared for aging parents or nurse who wants to engage with the forgotten. Ask around to discover who that might be. 

2. Listen

Caring well always starts with listening. Ask your newly identified leader to commission a small group of stakeholders to converse with those in nursing homes, shelters, the homebound, and on the street. They should ask about their families, backgrounds, skills, daily lives, and needs. Then prayerfully use what you’ve learned to formulate a plan of engagement.  

3. Engage seniors’ gifts

While their talents may not be as effective as they once were, able-bodied seniors can still sing, swing a hammer, cook, and pray. If your nonprofit provides blankets for the homeless, engage older women to knit or sew them. Does your church have an ongoing benevolence ministry? Ask the elderly in your circle to write cards of encouragement.  There is great beauty in engaging gifts. Here are two more examples: 

• If they need help with groceries, greeting guests at a food cooperative in exchange for food is a great way for them to contribute and maintain the dignity of providing for themselves. 
• If they need regular support for housing there are relational, dignifying ways to engage gifts to help! Consider a permanent supportive housing community or work with landlords to subsidize rent or a mortgage in exchange for ongoing engagement of their gifts. 

At its heart, engaging seniors’ gifts is about fostering dignity and purpose. By creating opportunities for them to contribute meaningfully, we meet needs relationally while affirming their value in the community.

4. Be present and supportive

Your presence lets seniors know they are worth your time and effort and affirms their dignity, honor, and comfort. Effective ways to do that include weekly phone calls, conversations at home (or a senior center), and an “adopt a senior” program.  

5. Create a community where needs are identified and met

The beauty of true community is the ability to connect seniors with individuals gifted and willing to help with things like taxes, basic construction needs, meal preparation, cleaning, etc. In other words, we meet true needs because we are close enough to understand what those needs truly are.  

It is sobering to realize many of our nation’s elderly are dying alone, often in dependent poverty.  

That is not how things should be. Through meaningful relationships and intentional care, we should see and honor these often-forgotten faces, cherish their stories, engage their gifts, and point them to Jesus.